Friday, January 13, 2012

CS VERSION OF "RAMAYAN"

:A Software Engineer's narration of Ramayana:

This is a small riddle kind of a thing. Just imagine a Software Engineer narrates Ramayana.

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SONs - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C ta.

12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.However,Queen CIE/CAE(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like unstable version of AI MSN does in intel.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE. She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her nossile PERIPHERAL. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR s plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND,
C ta urged LSI-man to his brother said. Catching the opportunity, RAW-van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry… SU-greev and his powerful
co-processor Ha-NEUMAN . who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful SEARCH techniques learnt in GOOGLE to FIND the missing C ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK something about C ta. Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.

Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything including Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped out RAW-wan’s presence on earth. Later, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying.

Be proud of it.......

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A love story

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.



11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.



Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.



Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.



A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.



Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.